Ni nde urarikira cyane imibonano mpuzabitsina hagati y’umugabo n’umugore?

Yanditswe na Dufitumukiza Salathiel
Kuya 10 Ukwakira 2020 saa 11:53
Yasuwe :
0 0

Imibonano mpuzabitsina hagati y’umugabo n’umugore ni ryo shingiro ry’ingenzi ry’umubano w’abadahuje ibitsina, ubaho hagamijwe kwishimana no kororoka kugira ngo umuryango n’igihugu bikomeze kwaguka.

Nubwo bifatwa nk’ikintu cy’ingenzi muri uwo mubano, haracyagaragara impaka nyinshi ku bushake, imigendekere n’ibyishimo biboneka nyuma y’icyo gikorwa.

Hari abavuga ko abagabo ari bo bungukira cyane mu buryo bw’amarangamutima muri icyo gikorwa, abandi bakavuga ko impande zose zigerwaho n’ingaruka nziza.

Gusa hanibazwa kenshi hagati y’umugabo n’umugore ugira uruhare rukomeye mu kuba igikorwa cyabaho, ariko hakaboneka ibisubizo bitandukanye bitewe nuko buri wese abyumva.

Hari imyemerere itavugwaho rumwe bamwe bita ko ari ivangura rishingiye ku gitsina, ko abagabo ari bo bararikira gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina ku rwego rwo hejuru ugereranyije n’abagore.

Nubwo nta kimenyetso gifatika mu bya siyansi kibigaragaza, ntibiteze kuzacika mu myemerere y’ababitekereza burundu cyane ko ubushakashatsi bushya bwerekana ko 42% by’Abongereza bagitekereza batyo.

Ubushakashatsi bwakozwe n’Ihuriro ry’Abongereza rirwanya ihohoterwa rikorerwa abagore, End Violence Against Women Coalition, bwerekanye ko mu bantu 3,922 bakuru mu by’imibonano mpuzabitsina hagati y’abatabihuje, 32% batekereza ko abagabo bakenera icyo gikorwa cyane. Umuntu umwe ku ijana ni we wavuze ko atemeranya na bo.

Byongeyeho kandi, 45% by’abakoreweho ubushakashatsi batekereza ko abagabo ari bo bagira uruhare runini ngo icyo gikorwa kibeho, mu gihe batatu ku ijana ari bo bemera ko abagore babigiramo uruhare runini.

Abagera kuri 43 % bo batekereza ko impande zombi zigira ubushake mu kuba igikorwa nyirizina cyagerwaho.

Hagaragaye ko kandi umwe mu bantu icumi, atekereza ko umugore ari we ugena igihe igikorwa kimara, 36% bagatekereza ko bigenwa n’abagabo, naho 38% bakizera ko impande zombi zibigena.

Hagendewe ku kigero cy’imyaka, abakuze ni bo bakunze kuvuga ko umugore n’umugabo bombi bishimira igikorwa, mu gihe urubyiruko ruri hagati ya 18 na 24 rwo atari ko rubyumva.

Ku bafite cyangwa barengeje imyaka 65 y’amavuko, bavuga ko umugabo n’umugore bashimishwa n’igikorwa, bakaganzwa na 58% by’abari mu myaka 18-24 bavuga ko atari uko bimeze.

Mu rubyiruko ruri hagati y’imyaka 18 na 24, 25% batekereza ko umwanzuro wo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina wumvikanwaho ku mpande zombi, 50% bakavuga ko umugabo ari we ufata umwanzuro, naho 10 % bakizera ko umugore ari we uhitamo niba habaho igikorwa.

Ni mu gihe ubushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko abantu benshi (57%) batekereza ko umugore “akora imibonano mpuzabitsina ahanini agamije gushimisha umugabo we”; babiri ku ijana gusa bavuga ko n’umugabo bigenda bityo.

Umuyobozi w’iryo huriro, Sarah Green, avuga ko “nubwo ari byiza kubona ko bitatu bya kane by’abakuru batekereza ko abagabo n’abagore bishimira imibonano mpuzabitsina, icyo tubonye neza na none kiramba ni ibitekerezo benshi bafite ku imibonano mpuzabitsina ari ingenzi, uyikenera, ndetse n’uyikuramo ibyishimo.”

Green akomeza avuga ko ibyavuye mu bushakashatsi ari “ibuye ry’ifatizo ku bijyanye n’uburinganire” nk’ ugusangira inshingano z’umubyeyi ku buryo bungana, ariko hakaba icyuho “ mu munezero uva mu mibonano mpuzabitsina”.

Akeka ko byaba biterwa ahanini n’uko bidakunda kuganirwaho nka “kimwe mu bibazo bibangamira uburinganire.”

Umwarimu mu Ishuri ryigisha Amategeko rya Durham akaba n’inzobere mu ihohoterwa rishingiye ku gitsina n’ibikorwa by’urukozasoni, Dr Fiona Vera Gray, ni umwe mu bakoze ubu bushakashatsi.

Yavuze ko “bwerekana ko tumaze kugera kure mu guhindura ibitekerezo bya kera byagaragazaga ko abagore ari bo bagena iby’imibonano mpuzabitsina.”

Impaka z’urudaca zihora mu bantu zishingiye k’urarikira imibonano mpuzabitsina cyane hagati y’umugabo n’umugore, Psychology Today isanzwe itangaza ubushakashatsi bushingiye ku mitekerereze n’imyitwarire hari icyo yabivuzeho kuwa 12 Kanama 2017.

Mu nyandi ko yahawe umutwe ugira uti” The Truth About Men And Sex”[ukuri kwerekeye abagabo n’imibonano mpuzabitsina] hagaragajwe impamvu zitandukanye zasobanura impamvu abagabo bashobora kuba bakunda imibonano mpuzabitsina cyane.

Umwanditsi w’iyo nkuru Laure Watson yasobanuye bwa mbere ko mu gihe abagore bo irari ry’imibonano rihera mu ntekerezo n’ibyiyumvo, abagabo bo bitangirira inyuma[ku bice bigaragarira amaso].

Icya kabiri avuga ni uko abagabo bagira irari ryo gukora imibonano[bumva bayishaka buri munsi], ibyo yagereranyije n’icyo umuntu asoza ku ifunguro. Yavuze ko umugabo aba yumva ari cyo kintu akeneye ngo asoze umunsi we neza.

Ikindi Watson yemeza ni uko imibonano mpuzabitsina ituma abagabo bagira umurava mu kazi kabo ka buri munsi kajyanye n’icyo bifuza mu buzima bwabo, bagamije guhaza no gushimisha abagore babo.

Uyu mwanditsi yanasobanuye ko aho ari ho haba ibyishimo by’umugabo kurusha ihandi mu buzima bwe, ngo kuko usibye no kubikora, kubimwibutsa cyangwa kumwereka amashusho ajyanye na byo bimunezeza.

Icya gatanu cyavuzwe ni uko abagabo bafata imibonano mpuzabitsina nk’uburyo bwo kugaragaza urukundo.

Ibi Watson yabishingiye ko iyo umugabo abona cyangwa akeka ko adashimisha umugore mu gikorwa uko bikwiye, ajya kubaza bagenzi be cyangwa agakora iyo bwabaga ngo amenye uko amushimisha cyane.

Icya nyuma Watson avuga, ngo imibonano mpuzabitsina ni rwo rukundo abagabo bahabwa bakumva baguwe neza. Yemeza ko nyuma y’ingorane n’intimba umugabo yaba yagize icyo ari cyo kintu gifasha kubimwibagiza.

Haracyari impaka z'urudaca ku kumenya urarikira cyane imibonano mpuzabitsina hagati y'umugabo n'umugore

Kwamamaza

Kwamamaza

Kwamamaza

TANGA IGITEKEREZO

AMATEGEKO AGENGA IYANDIKA RY'IGITEKEREZO CYAWE
Kwamamaza

Special pages
. . . . . .