Inama eshanu z’ingenzi umuntu akwiye kwitaho kugira ngo igikorwa cyo gutera akabariro kigende neza

Yanditswe na Dufitumukiza Salathiel
Kuya 8 Ukwakira 2020 saa 01:07
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Imibonano mpuzabitsina ni igikorwa gikomeye ndetse cyubahwa mu mateka y’ibinyabuzima, kuko usibye kuba ari yo nzira yo kororoka, ni isoko y’ibyishimo n’umunezero uva mu guhuza imibiri hagati y’abahuje amarangamutima ashingingiye ku byiyumvo.

Umuntu nk’ikiremwa gifite umwihariko wo guhora kivumbura, kivugurura ndetse kinoza inzira z’ubuzima gicamo, afite uko ategura ibyo akora byose kugira ngo birusheho kugenda neza kurusha uko byagenze ejo hashize.

Nk’ahantu akesha umunezero w’ubuzima bwe, mu gihe cyo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina hari uko aba agomba kubyitwaramo kugira ngo icyari ibyishimo kidahinduka intimba.

Kuba hari abantu badashamadukira ibyo gutereta cyane, ntibisobanuye ko batiyumvamo cyane imibonano mpuzabitsina.

Bivugwa ko imibonano mpuzabitsina ari cyo kintu cy’ingenzi ndetse kenshi kiba ishingiro ryo gushyikirana hagati y’abantu b’ingeri zitandukanye.

Abajyanama mu by’imibonano mpuzabitsina bavuga ko nubwo waba wiyita inararibonye muri icyo gikorwa cyangwa se ugiye kucyinjiramo bwa mbere, hari ibintu buri wese abagomba kumenya kandi akitaho mu gikorwa.

Ubujyanama mu by’imibonano mpuzabitsina ni ibiganiro biba bigamije gufasha abashakanye cyangwa abari mu rukundo gukemura ibibazo bituruka ku gutera akabariro, bihereye ku mitekerereze, imyitwarire n’imigenzereze y’umuntu ku giti cye, bikabibyazamo umuti w’ibibazo.

Umwanditsi w’igitabo “Love Worth Making” unategura ikiganiro Relation Doctor kinyuzwa kuri QDT Network, Stephen Snyder, avuga ko ikintu cya mbere buri wese ugiye kwinjira mu gikorwa yamenya ari uko “imibonano mpuzabitsina ijyana n’ibintu byinshi birenze igikorwa nyirizina.”

Ku bwe, ngo abenshi mu bakundana bakunze guhura n’ikibazo cyo kuba binjira mu gikorwa ari bwo ibyiyumvo byabo bigihaguruka.

Snyder avuga ko ababasha kwishimira cyane igikorwa ari ababanza gufata umwanya bagategurana bihagije mbere yo kwinjira mu gikorwa.

Uko gutegurana gukorwa mu buryo butandukanye burimo gusomana no kwegerana cyane basa n’abakirana, bigakorwa hatimirijwe imbere imibonano.

Ibyo Snyder yemeza ko “bituma ibyiyumvo byabo bizamuka cyane ku buryo iyo binjiye mu gikorwa nyirizina bitaba bisa nk’abagitangiye bakonje.”

Avuga ko kandi bituma bishimana bihebuje, kabone nubwo batakora imibonano mpuzabitsina.

Gutegurana mbere y’igikorwa, uyu mujyanama abyita ingenzi kuko bitegura umubiri haba mu ntekerezo n’inyuma mu gihe cy’igikorwa.

Icya kabiri Snyder avuga ko ari ngombwa kukimenya, ni uko “uburyo bwo kurangiza bwose budakorwa kimwe” ndetse ko abari mu gikorwa badakwiye kwerekeza intekerezo zabo ku kurangiza gusa.

Atanga inama ati “Kurangiza byakabaye nk’icyo unywa umaze gufata ifunguro, aho kuba impamvu ugiye kurifata”.

Ku rundi ruhande ariko, umujyanama akaba n’umuyobozi w’ikigo gitanga inama ku bibazo bishingiye ku rukundo n’imibonano mpuzabitsina, Centre for Love and Sex, Sari Cooper, agira abagore inama ko “ibyishimo no kurangiza byabo bikenewe ku rwego rumwe n’urwo bakeneye uwo bakorana igikorwa.”

Ubushakashatsi The Journal of Sex and Martial Therapy yasohoye mu 2017 bugaragaza ko abagore 37% bakoresha ubundi buryo bubafasha kurangiza, 18% bemera ko kujya mu gikorwa biba bihagije kugira ngo bagere ku byishimo bya nyuma, mu gihe abagabo 85% barangiza nyuma y’igikorwa.

Cooper avuga ko kandi ari ngombwa ku bagore kumenya ko “imibonano mpuzabitsina ntiyakaranzwemo uburibwe.”

Mu gihe hari impamvu zinyuranye zishobora gutuma umugore agira uburibwe ari mu gikorwa, (iyo bitewe n’ububobere buke biba ari ibisanzwe), agira inama abo bibaho kugana abaganga.

Inama ya nyuma Sari Cooper agira abantu ni uko bakwiye kwitondera “uko bagaragariza abo bajyana mu gikorwa ubumenyi bagifitemo n’ibyo bifuza”, icyo yita ’sex esteem’ mu rurimi rw’icyongereza.

Abajyana benshi mu by’imibonano mpuzabitsina bavuga ko kugira ngo uryoherwe kandi ukore neza imibonano mpuzabitsina, ni ngombwa ko uba ushoboye kwiyumvisha icyo ushaka ku wo muyikorana, kuba ushoboye kuyikora, hanyuma kandi ukaba uyifuza.

Kuryoherwa n'imibonano mpuzabitsina bibaho bitewe n'uko byateguwe

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